Day one

Dec. 2 2014

Hello. I’ve just found my old diary after moving. I can’t believe I haven’t written in this thing since I was 12. It seems so long ago now that I’m living on my own. The new apartment’s lovely, but a bit dark. The neighbors seem okay and it doesn’t smell like onions like the last place, so that’s a plus. Oh, there’s the timer. I told myself I’d only sit down for a few minutes, I’ll be right back.

Hello again. Figured I’d keep writing as long as I have time. There’s a few housewarming gifts to open, but I’m feeling really tired. I’ll probably leave them until tomorrow. Michelle’s coming over later with the Christmas movies, so I’ve got to get this place presentable. Hang on a second, what’s that sound?

I’m back, and you will not believe what happened to me. It’s been a few hours since I wrote that last post. Remember those gifts I wasn’t going to open? Well, they made the decision for me when a fat brown bird pecked its way through the ribbons wrapped around the largest box, and began flying around my brand new clean apartment banging into windows. He didn’t poop; thank goodness but that creep who signed himself “Your True Love” had better not send me anything else. Who even gives somebody a pear tree anyways?