Day 6

Dec. 12

                I am going to collapse into my bed in about thirty seconds but I just had to scribble this down before I forget to. After work (I finally got a job as a temp!)  I went for a walk in the cute little park down the street. I’m on a really tiny salary still trying to pay off student loans and this is not the greatest neighbourhood so of course Miles, ever the gentleman  insisted on coming with me.  We saw the beautiful Christmas decorations, and even the Nativity set at the community church. It hasn’t been vandalized yet, which is something that really warms my heart. I know it isn’t quite Christmas yet, but it’s still so nice to see people remembering that they aren’t the only ones on earth. When we got back to our apartments though, I almost had a panic attack. I screamed so loud that he literally came running in from next door and the guy upstairs called the police.

                What I found out on my balcony was what looked like six dead geese. They were lying there in dark puddles and I almost puked. Miles was brave enough to go take a closer look at them, despite my fervent cries of ohmygoshdon’tgo and discovered that they are apparently stuffed. Six taxidermied geese just lying on my balcony. A whole bunch of stuff happened at once as he came back in and I’m still trying to get things in order. First, Miles came back from the balcony and all that. He’s actually about to call the police, literally with his cell phone in hand when the police come. They actually almost smashed down the door before I could sprint to open it. There was a whole thing about how the hell he got it up onto my twelfth floor balcony (they think he/she knows somebody in the building) but the end result was that Miles is spending the night on my couch, just to make sure that nothing happens. I’m not even sure how this happened, everything’s a blur. We’re both really afraid right now, much as I hate to admit it. This situation went from something weird to something really quite terrifying. I almost forgot to mention- there was a note alongside the six geese. This guy just seems to have caught the writing bug. It said (the police took it)

                “My dear, my love for you shines as bright as the noon day sun in the arctic winter. I will be with you soon and I will have you as mine forever. I love you so much more than you could ever imagine. You must be thrilled with your gifts by the way you treat them. How’s Patty? – Your true love”

                I am so afraid right now I actually did something I haven’t done since I was a little girl. I prayed. I never saw the point in praying to some invisible super hero before but now? I need all the help I can get to overcome this. I’m probably not going to be able to sleep tonight, so I’m going to go make some herbal tea. Maybe it’ll soothe my nerves. 

Day 5

Dec. 10

                Okay, I probably owe you a bit of explanation as to why there’s some random dude writing in my diary, beyond the one he already gave. Patty is NOT scary Miles, just a little… intimidating. I’m sorry about not writing sooner, but I’ve actually been working on creating an actual room for the doves. I’m really glad I met Miles actually. It was a total fluke that he was so cold and wet that he actually hit my button by accident, instead of Mme deFourchette’s but he wound up coming over to my place until the super could come back and let him in. No matter how much it sounds like a date, it was really not. He was literally shivering, so I let him take a shower, gave him a blanket and my brother’s old robe from when he was like, 15. I seriously don’t know why I still have that, but Miles seemed to warm up quickly. I’ll write a brief description, which I’m supposed to be practicing for my online course.

                The boy- no the man at my door was shivering, drenched to the bone. Even though he was already shaking, I could see a tangled mop of dark curls and bluish lips covering chattering teeth. Still staring at the floor, his freckled features seemed frozen into an expression of surprise. Later, when he was dry his hair lightened to a dusty brown and his amber eyes sparkled. As the Polar Express theme played, his eyes lit up like a child’s and he exclaimed in delight. He was modest and very shy but you should have seen how he reacted to the dove cage. I think his mom must have kept birds or something, because he was completely shocked at the idea of keeping my birds inside like that. Like I said, that’s what we were doing yesterday is fixing up the dove cage- sorry Aviary. All that happened today was, randomly enough, I received five onion rings. Weird, huh? I invited Miles over also, after ordering more food so I could tell him about my newest (and weirdest) gift. Oh, there’s the doorbell now, Bye!

Day 4

Dec. 8

                This just gets weirder and weirder. I’ve been researching more about what connection these gifts have to each other, and according to my search all of the things I’ve gotten so far are completely unrelated. Three French hens (as my neighbour calls them) two turtle doves and partridge in a pear tree. None of the guys I know would even dream of doing something like this, let alone being able to pay for it. The doves (who are starting to love me, by the way) are such an odd gift; I’m not sure who would think of it. Oh, speaking of doves I have great news. My doves are now named Gentleman and Noelle, in honor of the holidays. I love them so much now that they’ve stopped attacking me every time I come within 10 feet. I’ll be back later today probably, but the phone’s ringing and the birds are starting to get upset.

                Hi, sorry about the tea stain. I had a cup of tea, and Patty got curious, but I figured partridges probably shouldn’t have caffeine. She didn’t like that much. Anyways, you won’t believe who was on the phone. It was this random bird sanctuary. They played the calls of four different indigenous Canadian birds as a thank you for adopting. Four calling birds? Really? Hang on, who’s buzzing?? Geez, I can’t sit down and write for three minutes before something happens.

                

Hello in case you forget this is your neighbour who isn’t French and crazy, Miles. I’m really sorry about writing in your diary, but Patty was sitting on top of the printer paper and I’m kind of scared to go near her. Anyways, if you’re going to be keeping doves, you’ll probably want a bigger aviary. They need to have plenty of space to stretch their wings, and they eat mostly seeds.  If you want them to, um, breed they will need plenty of private, secluded spaces. Also, you should add a nesting box or two, because doves are really terrible nest builders. It was really nice to meet you. I’d never have guessed somebody so nice lives next door and thank you again for letting me watch The Polar Express with you until the superintendent came and unlocked my door. I had a lot of fun, but I really wish that Patty was a bit less territorial.

Day three

Dec. 6

Wow. Okay, sorry it’s just been one heck of a day. I am completely wiped out. As you don’t know yet, I’ve been looking for a new job, after my last boss had a nervous breakdown. I may be on a semester long break, but student debt is a great motivator. Sigh. Anyways, I probably should update you on how goes Patty, as well as my timid turtle doves. Patty is still roaming free throughout the apartment, and seems quite happy, although I don’t actually know what she’s been eating. Pears I guess? And spiders, since the huge amount of them that used to live here are gone.  The turtle doves have been eating wild bird seed, although I suspect Patty might be stealing it. I’m still waiting for today’s gift, if the pattern holds. I should probably go start dinner now, I’ll be back soon.

I’m back. It’s been about three hours and the weirdest thing has happened. I was about to throw on the ramen noodles and frozen peas (I spent my food money on bird food and a newspaper subscription) when there was a knock on the door. First, I was freaked out. I live in an apartment building, with a buzzer and I didn’t buzz any one in. My neighbor though, a French woman who smells like onions and is always saying how she “used to be someone”. Before what, the French revolution? Okay, sorry that was mean. Anyways, she called out from behind the door.

“Hallo? I ‘ave something for you, from your True Love?”

“Who?”

“I do not know, but I ‘ave been paid to give it to you.”

So, I opened the door, and was forcefully handed a large plate full of what appeared to be chicken wings. Three of them.  No note, no nothing although they did taste pretty good. This “True Love” guy (Girl? I’m not judgy) is trying to tell me something, but I don’t know what. Whoa, is that the time? It’s really late, goodnight,

Day Two

Dec. 4 2014

Hello again. No new gifts so far, thank goodness. The partridge (weird bird I got a few days ago) seems to be mostly self-sufficient. I’ve left the window to my balcony partially open, but she doesn’t seem to want to go outside much. She’s so sweet! I wonder what you name a partridge anyways. Oh, there’s the doorbell. Pizza’s here!

Sorry about that. Turns out, it wasn’t the pizza I never even ordered but actually another one of those weird gifts? I can’t decide whether I should open it. It’s got a weird shape to it and it’s covered in like twenty pounds of paper. Patty seems to be afraid of it. She (I think it’s a girl) is shying away from it. Hang on, there’s a card.  I’ll paste it here.

To my True Love. May this gift remind you of my love for you.

Creepy. All right, I’ll write later. I’ve just got to open this now.

Sorry about being so late, I’ve been online trying to figure what on earth I’ve been given. Again. You’ll never believe what happened as soon as I opened the package. Inside was a beautiful golden cage and two gorgeous birds that google identifies as turtle doves. They were terrified when they saw me, so that was upsetting. I mean, my hair isn’t THAT bad.

Anyways, I am now apparently starting an aviary in my new apartment.  Good thing there’s a tiny spare room and no rules against pets. All I need now is a whole bunch of newspaper. 

Day one

Dec. 2 2014

Hello. I’ve just found my old diary after moving. I can’t believe I haven’t written in this thing since I was 12. It seems so long ago now that I’m living on my own. The new apartment’s lovely, but a bit dark. The neighbors seem okay and it doesn’t smell like onions like the last place, so that’s a plus. Oh, there’s the timer. I told myself I’d only sit down for a few minutes, I’ll be right back.

Hello again. Figured I’d keep writing as long as I have time. There’s a few housewarming gifts to open, but I’m feeling really tired. I’ll probably leave them until tomorrow. Michelle’s coming over later with the Christmas movies, so I’ve got to get this place presentable. Hang on a second, what’s that sound?

I’m back, and you will not believe what happened to me. It’s been a few hours since I wrote that last post. Remember those gifts I wasn’t going to open? Well, they made the decision for me when a fat brown bird pecked its way through the ribbons wrapped around the largest box, and began flying around my brand new clean apartment banging into windows. He didn’t poop; thank goodness but that creep who signed himself “Your True Love” had better not send me anything else. Who even gives somebody a pear tree anyways? 

Christmas is coming!

Greetings to my fellow humans. Also, greetings to all of the aliens, cyborgs and fictional characters living among us. Happy thanksgiving to all my American readers, and I'm really sorry for not posting yesterday. This isn't really a post, it's more of an update of what's happening. Because of the abundance of Christmas songs, I will be posting every other day starting tomorrow. Why will be quite evident once I begin, so no spoilers. Now, a brief blurb to sate your appetite for twisted nursery rhymes.
 

   The bells were ringing. There was no end to the ringing of the bells. All around and beneath him. They were beautiful once, brought joy to those who listened. But there was no snow to drown the endless tormenting noise, no sleigh on which to flee its grasp. All there was was the ringing of the endless bells.