Eat no fat

Hello again my regular readers,as well as my irregular, downright bizarre and are you certain you'r fully human? readers. It's good to see you again after the new year. Who's already broken their resolutions? I'm trying this format again because I really enjoyed it last time and I guess you did too, although I don't know. YOU ALL NEED TO LEAVE COMMENTS!!! Wow, three exclamation marks? I must be really upset. Anyhow,, this is an old rhyme that difficult to read right due to it's shear weirdness. I am fairly certain you read this one wrong. Eat No Fat A one act play to be performed by a group of 5 people Characters: JOAN SPRAT: A young woman who is somewhat overweight. She is working to overcome it and is having a hard time dealing with all of the emotions that come when she doesn’t eat them away FACILITATOR: The person (can be male or female) must be supportive and understanding. Almost overly cheerful (s)he is very upbeat and firmly believes in mind over matter. FLORENCE: A lovely woman, she’s Joan’s mentor and sits beside her. She’s a shoulder to cry on and does things like patting Joan’s hand and reassuring her. BILL: Member of the support group. He’s not there by choice he really could not care less about all of this at first. Later, he reveals himself as a little more sensitive than he lets on JACK SPRAT: JOAN’S husband, Jack is a world class jerk. He tries to control JOAN through her weight and keep her dependent on him. He’s patronizing as well, and just all around not a nice guy. Setting: A meeting of Overeaters Anonymous, with circle of chairs, where FACILITATOR, FLORENCE, JOAN and BILL are sitting FACILITATOR: Hello everyone. Welcome to Overeaters Anonymous, a twelve step program where we learn to overcome our dependency. Is there any one here who’d like to begin? (Silence. Finally, JOAN stands up. FLORENCE pats her hand reassuringly) JOAN: Hi, my name is Joan and I’m an overeater. BILL, FACILITATOR and FLORENCE: Hi, Joan JOAN: I’ve been coming to these meetings a while and I like to think I’ve made some progress. I understand now that I am powerless over food. I accept that something greater than I can and will restore me to being who I need to be. I’ve turned my life over to God even but without support this isn’t going to work. My family isn’t supporting me. FACILITATOR: How aren’t they supporting you Joan? JOAN: It’s my husband. He offers me whatever food he doesn’t finish, which is more than half of his plate sometimes. He’s vegetarian, but he always cooks enough steak for three people and I always eat it all. I don’t know how much longer I can keep doing this! FLORENCE: (Stands up beside her and takes her hand) Hi, my name is Florence, and I’m a recovered Overeater. BILL AND FACILITATOR: Hi, Florence FLORENCE: I just wanted to say that we’re all here for you, sweetheart. If he tries to offer you food again, call me. I’m your mentor after all and I’m here to support you as you change. JOAN: Thanks so much, it means a lot. (Both sit down) FACILITATOR: Thank you, Joan. Is there anyone else who wants to share before we go? (Looks pointedly at BILL) (No response) FACILITATOR: Remember, next week we’re meeting in the church basement at 7:00. Don’t be late! Now, let’s recite the serenity prayer before we leave. (All stand) ALL: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the strength to change what I can and the wisdom to know the difference. FACILITATOR and FLORENCE leave (JOAN sits back down. BILL joins her) JOAN: Bill? You’re still here? BILL: What about it? My ride ain’t here yet and this is as good a place as any. JOAN: Thanks for waiting with me. (Pauses) Bill, can I ask you a question? BILL: Nothing stopping you. JOAN: Why do you come to these meetings? BILL: Whoa, getting personal there girlie JOAN: Sorry. You don’t have to tell me. BLL: No, It ain’t your fault. What happened was that- (JACK SPRAT enters) JACK: Come on honey bear, it’s time to go. JOAN: No. JACK: What was that Sweetie? I thought you said no, and that really isn’t something you want to say to me. BILL: She said no, she meant no. Buzz off bozo. JACK: I hope that you aren’t talking to me like that. She’s my wife and I’ll speak to her how I want too. BILL: You little piece of- JOAN: Bill! Thank you, but that’s enough. JACK: That’s right sugar pie. Let’s go home, away from his sort. I’ve made a delicious dinner for you, with plenty of rice and potatoes. (JACK and JOAN walk away, with JACK’s arm around Joan’s shoulders. JOAN looks over her shoulder as she leaves and sees BILL watching them go. She stops and pulls JACK’s arm off of her) JOAN: No, Jack. Not again. I won’t go home and eat until I feel sick like I do every night because I hate it. I hate the way you use me, controlling me with food. Unless you’re willing to support me,, we’re done. (JACK opens his mouth as if to reply but shuts it when JOAN glares at him. He storms off) JOAN: Oh gosh, what have I done? I have no place to go without him. BILL: You don’t need to worry about that, I’ll give you a lift. I’ve got a spare bed at my place. It isn’t the greatest, but it’s clean. Anything’s better than that jerk. JOAN: Will your ride mind? I don’t want to be a burden. BILL: I’m not waiting for my ride. JOAN: Then why are you- BILL: I wanted to spend time with you. Your EX-hubby is a jerk and you’re a really sweet lady. I didn’t want you to get hurt. JOAN: Oh Bill, that’s so sweet. Shall we go get coffee? JOAN and BILL exit Lights go down End scene