Bessie and the ISS

It occurred to me that not everybody may understand what songs are behind these stories, especially some of my international readers. I’ve got a few sites I go to to find inspiration, so whenever I can find one there’ll be a link at the bottom of the page. In other news, I need more of you incredible people to acknowledge the existence and your enjoyment (?) of this blog. Whether this is commenting, sharing this blog, linking to this job or making cookies in my honor despite not knowing who I am (feel free to eat these while making exaggerated yum noises) I appreciate every little bit of it. Shout out to Natalie Carlile, who despite having no actual connection to my blog that I could find was somehow a major traffic source for three days. With no further ado (because really, who can stand ado?) what if the random marks on a page your brain somehow understood to be letters forming words that formed actual stories and songs were interpreted incorrectly?

 Fate of Farmer Macdonald’s cow remains “up in the air”

    The fate of a local farmer’s prized Jersey cow remains uncertain after her disappearance and later reappearance on the International Space Station just last Wednesday. It was a blow to the local community when, six days ago, a local man known as Old Macdonald reported that Bessie was missing. He remarked that she had always had a passion for the stars. Farmer Macdonald said “I always had that darndest time getting her in at night. All she ever wanted to do was stare at the stars.”        The cow escaped when the farmer’s sentient silverware opened the farm gate to let in the neighbor’s wedding china, which it had been forbidden from seeing due to neighbourhood dissent over who had the best stamp collection. The spoon later made a statement apologizing, stating that it did not know that Old Macdonald had left Bessie out in the field overnight so that she could see the full moon. Once Bessie was free, NASA recruiting agents say she attempted to join the latest moon landing. When she learned that there were none going and further that there were no cow shaped space suits she left the office mooing sadly. Russian cosmonauts were the first to discover her stowed away in their space shuttle when they docked on the ISS. Word from the space station is that Bessie is “A delight to be around and the extra milk is helping to improve our calcium intake as well, so bonus!” They do not appear to intend to return her anytime soon.
     Old Macdonald (distinct from Young Macdonald in that he does not run a fast food restaurant or have an unhealthy fondness for clowns and the colour yellow) has declined to comment. His dog however seems to find the entire situation hilarious and has yet to stop laughing.
Links:
Cow jumped over the moon
and
Old Macdonald