Greetings strange people who have
nothing better to than read blogs (are you procrastinating again? That’s okay,
who isn’t procrastinating at least SOMETHING? I even procrastinated posting this for goodness sake). I am glad that you are back. If
you are just finding this blog, hi. Please don’t run away screaming, I’m nice
once you get to know me. Usually. You
are all wonderful people who may wish to go have another eye exam because you
may have read this one wrong.
To: myfairlady@emailsite.uk
From:
Acmebridgebuilders@anothersite.uk
We at
Acme bridge builders would like to thank you for your business. It means a lot
that you chose us for such an important project. Unfortunately there has been a
slight delay in you project. London Bridge is falling down and has been deemed
unsafe by our union. We will resume work as soon as the dust settles and we
have the materials to continue construction.
We
apologize for the delay and again, we will resume work as soon as we possibly
can.
Acme Bridge Builders
To: Acmebridgebuilders@anothersite.uk
From:
myfairlady@emailsite.uk
What do
you mean falling down?!?! I’ve paid you good money to build me a bridge and all
I get is “deemed unsafe by our union” and “we need more materials”. Well boohoo
for you. I want my bridge and I’m not paying another penny. You can use wood
and clay for all I care, just get it done soon. I’ll be coming by soon and I
want my bridge finished!
To:myfairlady@emailsite.uk
From: Acmebridgebuilder@anothersite.uk
I’m
really not sure you understand how this works. We are paid by the day and we
work with materials that you pay for so if you want a bridge at all, I suggest
you pay. Our union is reviewing the case as I type this email so unless you
provide the materials and fulfil your side of the contract, we can no longer
work for you.
Acme Bridge Builders
To:
Acmebridgebuilders@anothersite.uk
From:
myfairlady@emailsite.uk
I’m
very sorry for my inappropriate response to your previous email, although
refusing work may be a tiny over reaction. Now that that’s out of the way, I’ll be sure
to send you iron bars right away. I read on Wikipedia that they’re very strong,
so I’m sure that they’ll be exactly what you need. Glad we settled this, when
can I expect to walk across my bridge for the first time?
To: myfairlady@emailsite.uk
From: solictorserious@legalsite.co.uk
My
client has called me in because you are refusing to fulfil your end of a legal
contract in regards to bridge building. Unless you pay the agreed upon amount,
my client will disengage himself from the enterprise in which he is currently involved,
i.e. the current legal battle in regards to the afore mentioned bridge and
contract.
Thank
you for your time
To:
solicitorserious@legalsite.co.uk
From: myfairlady@emailsite.uk
What? I just want my bridge built, why are you bringing
Star Trek into this? I’m not asking him to build me a bridge out of silver and
gold, I just want my bridge built! IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?!!!!!
To:
myfairlady@emailsite.uk
From:
solicitorserious@lagalsite.co.uk
My
client replies that it is indeed too much to ask and thus must disengage
himself from this affair. The remains of your bridge can be found under the
Thames and you owe my client a fair amount of money as well. If you refuse to
pay my exorbitant fees, my clients owed bill and the hefty pollution charge for
all of that clay, wood and iron at the bottom of Thames, legal action will
proceed against you. I certainly hope you have enough gold and silver to cover it.
Thank
you for your time. Have a nice day.
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