Row your boat right off a cliff.

Hello. I am experimenting with format right now so bear with me. Let me know how I can improve.
SCENE ONE
(The camera cuts to a man, paddling down a calm river in a small canoe with a camping pack clearly visible in the back. The man, clearly alone in the woods, begins to whistle to himself. Time passes and he breaks out into song)
MAN: row row row your boat
Gently down the stream
Merrily merrily merrily merrily
(Scene cuts to a crude campsite near the beach during this line. The canoe next to him, the man curls into his sleeping bag by a fire of dying embers)
MAN: life is but a dream. (Yawns)  What a good day. I should sing everyday if this is any indication.
End scene
SCENE 2
The man is again seen paddling his canoe. The water is rougher, and he is rocking from side to side to stay balanced. He continues to sing.
MAN: rock rock rock your boat, gently down the stream
If you see a (pauses) oh crap.
(A loud scream is heard and the camera is splashed with water. Flashes of scaly green are seen. Picture loses definition.)
(When picture resumes, the man is holding a paddle with a large bite mark at the end. His supplies seem to have been  violently attacked. He is visibly rattled and extremely shaky. A wave splashes against the boat, which has returned to calmer waters. The man jumps, tipping the canoe.)
End scene.
   SCENE 3
   (The man paddles the canoe into the cameras sight. He is shaking and remains dripping wet. His pack is visibly absent. He is shaking as he inefficiently paddling in almost circles with the bitten paddle. Each splash seems to startle him to the point of almost flipping each time. His voice sings out shakily.)
MAN:Ok, last verse guys. I just have to finish this.
Row row row your boat
Underneath the stre- wait what?!
(A periscope emerges from the water with a loud splash. The man leans towards it cautiously, just as a surge of water tips his boat. He lands on the top of a huge metal submarine with an audible clang.)
MAN: (groans) what the hell?
(He raises his head, examining the submarine. He thumps his head down heavily. He lifts his bitten paddle before dropping it in submission.)
MAN: I give. I GIVE! (Mutters) so much for a relaxing holiday.
Fades to black, credits role.

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